Being A Stuffer Doesn’t Help

I’m a stuffer.  Yup.  First Class.  Deep to my core.

Not a stuffer in that I stuff myself with food (well. . . I have done that on occasion, too) or stuff junk in my closet (my closet is a mess though).

I am a stuffer of my emotions.

I’m not sure how I came to be this way.  As the oldest sibling in my family, I think I felt a responsibility to always know what to do,  to model behavior and certainly not to get angry at my younger siblings if I was being responsible for taking care of them.

As I grew into my teenage years and adulthood, “being nice” was of the utmost importance to me.  Frustration, anger, sadness, or jealousy were emotions you did not display for I feared others would not like me.  And, I desperately needed people to like me.

Well, it continued into adulthood and I still battle “stuffing” as a wife, mother and teacher. Being known as a nag, squeaky wheel, difficult or flat out “drama mama” has never been very attractive to me, and again, people might not like me then.  And, I thought I was just having patience.

Stuffing can be disguised as patience.

So, I’m curious how this affects my inner organs.  We have outer toxins and these inner toxins. And, frankly, I’m a little bit more concerned about my ability to feel, show and release my toxic emotions than I am of the dirt on the cucumbers right now.

Through lots of reading and research I learned some interesting stuff.

I discovered that when we are angry, jealous or resentful, we are putting our liver under stress.  Yes, our liver.

The liver ensures that energy and blood flow smoothly throughout the body.  Liver is considered as the seat of anger; it stores not only your anger but the anger from others as well and the toxic energy stored will eventually affect the organ’s function. When this happens, one can have a liver imbalance and you may notice symptoms such as menstrual pain, headache, irritability, inappropriate anger, dizziness, dry, red eyes and other eye conditions, and tendonitis.

This summer,  I released a lot of built up stress, anxieties and resentments when I disappeared to the cabin, of which I will continue to write about.  Since arriving home, I have a revived sense of inner peace and love and I have been able to maintain that through meditation, creativity and spending time on myself.  Through this Reset, I know I am releasing even more, deeply embedded toxins that have maybe been there longer.

I anticipate feeling miraculously amazing when the Reset is complete.  However, fall is in the air and the leaves are already turning yellow, which means my profession will be calling my name.

Autumn signals school to start.

I fear the stuffing will begin to compile again.  I need a game plan.  I deeply care about my health and I also know that when I feel good physically, mentally and spiritually, I can more easily love those I am surrounded by.  And, that is what’s important to me.

I’m going to work on writing a disciplined plan for myself and eventually share it here.  First, I need to do a bit more research.  If it’s going to be long term, it also has to be realistic.  It’s easy to find a bunch of ideas online and make a long list here, but, that’s not going to help me if I don’t live it.

I will, however, share one method of releasing emotions that worked for me  yesterday.

Spend time with a pet.

I was frustrated yesterday over an event that happened and I spent five minutes with Sandy, our yellow lab, and her love, her attentiveness, her presence and her silliness helped me to shift into a completely different emotion.  My anger lifted and soon, I felt joy seep into my being.   A loving pet can do that.

What about you?  What do you do to lift and release your anger/resentments?

Please share. It helps us all when we share what works. 🙂

Shari 🙂

7 thoughts on “Being A Stuffer Doesn’t Help

  1. Stress is extremely damaging to our health, it contributes to diseases both mental and physical. It grows out of so many areas: controllable and uncontrollable. We do what we can to eliminate or decrease.

    Finding time to relax is important, to remove ourselves from the demands of our life. Exercise is also important. It helps to remove us from stressful moments.

    If relationships become strained, for whatever reason, I wait for the hurt to subside. Then, I take an objective stance and try to analyze what went wrong. Once I get a foothold, I consider apologizing regardless of whether I’m at fault or not.


  2. Just learning what a big ‘stuffer’ I am. Writing helps release emotions and that may be why we find just getting starting so difficult. Glad to see you have Jeff Goins in your ‘tag cloud’.


  3. Love this so much, Ms. Shari. I’m a recovering stuffer, and man oh man, has it been challenging to change that pattern. That was my go-to response since childhood, and it can still feel very unsafe and scary to feel my emotions and deal with them. And honestly, God is still teaching me the basics here. It’s a process, that’s what I tell myself when I regress. Three steps forward, two steps back… On another note, that is soooo fascinating about the toxins. I have had chronic dry eyes for nearly four years, and I always sensed it was connected with stress (undealt with emotions) to some extent. Interesting stuff.


    1. Thank you for stopping by my blog, Sammie. I will probably be a recovering stuffer my entire life. But, I’ve really learned a lot about the effects of this on my health this summer when I did the Ultimate Reset with my daughter. I am trying to use writing and art as my emotional releases more now, along with trying to voice my pain in words to people (this is the hardest, as I have always been an avoider of conflict and I don’t like hurting others with my words.)

      It’s all so interesting, isn’t it? There is so much to learn about ourselves, others and this journey that we are on! I never get bored! 🙂



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